{"id":260369323,"date":"2013-04-02T12:48:43","date_gmt":"2013-04-02T12:48:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.baltimorespokes.org\/?p=260369323"},"modified":"2013-04-02T12:48:43","modified_gmt":"2013-04-02T12:48:43","slug":"report-it-pretty-incredible-that-americans-entrusted-with-driving-cars","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.baltimorespokes.org\/?p=260369323","title":{"rendered":"Report: It Pretty Incredible That Americans Entrusted With Driving Cars"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Onion News<br \/>\nWASHINGTON\u2014Citing that a majority of Americans are irresponsible, easily distracted people who have little regard for other human beings, a new Department of Transportation report revealed Wednesday that it\u2019s \u201cactually kind of crazy\u201d that U.S. citizens are allowed to drive automobiles. \u201cAmericans make millions of mind-boggling, idiotic mistakes every day, and when taking into consideration the sheer amount of lives that could be lost due to just the slightest human error while driving, it\u2019s actually pretty goddamn shocking that we let citizens operate 4,000-pound machines capable of going 200 mph,\u201d the report read in part, later adding that if one truly thinks about who their neighbors, friends, and children are as people, the absolute last thing one would be comfortable with would be them merging onto a busy highway with cars traveling 85 mph. \u201cConsider the average American on Facebook who says things like \u2018first\u2019 or makes a bizarre Monica Lewinsky reference out of nowhere. Now think of somebody dumber than that. That person\u2019s allowed to drive, too. Pretty nuts, right?\u201d The report ultimately concluded that only 62 total Americans are intelligent and thoughtful enough to operate a motor vehicle.<br \/>\n<!--more--><br \/>\n.<br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.theonion.com\/articles\/report-it-pretty-incredible-that-americans-entrust,31828\/\">https:\/\/www.theonion.com\/articles\/report-it-pretty-incredible-that-americans-entrust,31828\/<\/a>oldId.20130402124843842<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Onion News WASHINGTON\u2014Citing that a majority of Americans are irresponsible, easily distracted people who have little regard for other human beings, a new Department of Transportation report revealed Wednesday that it\u2019s \u201cactually kind of crazy\u201d that U.S. citizens are allowed to drive automobiles. \u201cAmericans make millions of mind-boggling, idiotic mistakes every day, and when taking &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp.baltimorespokes.org\/?p=260369323\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Report: It Pretty Incredible That Americans Entrusted With Driving Cars&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"1","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-260369323","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-biking-elsewhere"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.baltimorespokes.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/260369323","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.baltimorespokes.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.baltimorespokes.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.baltimorespokes.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.baltimorespokes.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=260369323"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wp.baltimorespokes.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/260369323\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.baltimorespokes.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=260369323"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.baltimorespokes.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=260369323"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.baltimorespokes.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=260369323"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}